Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
