I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
