I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
