She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
