I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
