we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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