I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
