I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
