What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
