This is not my ceiling
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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