You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ttyl tear gas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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