I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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