what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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