Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
