hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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