I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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