piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize