her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
