I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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