Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
