His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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