either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your dad touched me again.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
