we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
