she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
