Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Mom said you looked used
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
