There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
