I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
