Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
