And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
