I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
