Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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