you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
