we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
