A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
