this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
