She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
