Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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