Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
