I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
two words...techno handjob
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
