i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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