last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize