that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
