that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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