He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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