hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
