i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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