I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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