pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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