You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
