she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
