I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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