Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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