Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
