Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
