people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize