I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
