speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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