fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
