I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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